Spitting on campus is unnecessary and inconsiderate

Lily Kime, A&E Editor

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While walking from one class to the next or maybe even to dinner, I oftentimes get stuck following a small group of people walking unreasonably slowly. As I finally resign myself to the fact that this crowd of turtles takes up too much of the sidewalk to pass easily, one of them suddenly turns their face toward the ground and spits. They just spit. For no apparent reason. Suddenly, as if this has been their hourly reminder, every single person in this small group spits as if it is some bizarre group compulsion.

And they most certainly did not have the impulse to spit somewhere even begrudgingly permissible. Oh no, they spit directly on the concrete of the sidewalk I was trying to share with this group of spitting turtles. Now, as I attempt to hopscotch around the *gag* puddles that are forming, I wonder why any of this was necessary.

You may be thinking to yourself “wow, this girl is taking this way too seriously,” or “her poor constitution is being offended by spittle. Sad.” I do not owe you any sort of justification for finding this socially horrifying, but I am already writing this opinion piece, so why stop now? I was a manager for a baseball team for three summers. During that time, I thought I had grown pretty desensitized to sunflower seeds, dirt, and spit. I have even been spit on accidentally and still did not freak out.

With that established, spitting in a sporting event is much different from what I am talking about. Spitting does not need to happen on the average day while just walking around campus. The only understandable reason for doing this is if a bug just flew into your mouth.

And if that is the reason you are spitting, why must you eject the thoroughly saliva-lubricated insect on the sidewalk? (Yeah, that was a gross sentence. That’s how I feel about people spitting.) Be a semi-considerate person and lean a little further to the side to spit in the grass. Still not ideal, but at least it is a step in the right direction.

If you are not actually spitting because insects are strangely drawn to your mouth, please stop it. Nobody requested that you make their walk more disgusting and filled with sidewalk obstacles.

You share a space with several hundred people here at Luther. It is hugely inconsiderate for anyone to be sullying any part of campus for absolutely no reason other than they decided not to consider how their actions may be affecting other people.

The reason spitting is so repulsive is that it falls under the category of “bodily fluid.” Just as much as I absolutely do not want to interact with your blood, urine, or semen (for those to whom that applies), I do not want to interact with your spit either. There is a reason that spitting on people is literally a chargeable offense: assault/battery with bodily fluid.

Asking that Luther’s sidewalks not be covered with spit is not an unreasonable request to make. There are places on this earth where it is socially acceptable to spit, but that is because there is a reason behind it. A simple walk across campus does not qualify as one of these situations.

Consider the impact your actions have on other people. Everyone at Luther came here with the expectation of getting an education in a clean and lovely environment, which did not involve having to navigate sidewalks of unpleasant surprises.

In conclusion, it is time to calm down, Gaston, and stop proving how especially good at expectorating you are.

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